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- Free InfoCalls for Newly Inquiring Families
- Join us for High Holiday services 5771
- Where? and How? A Midrashic and Psychospiritual Perspective on Tisha B’Av By Judith Rose
- What Is The Legacy Passage Bar and Bat Mitzvah Program?
- Home As Hebrew School
- Transformational Bar and Bat Mitzvah
- The Paradox of Being Jewish
- High Holiday Services
- Transformational Bar and Bat Mitzvah
- What is the Legacy Passage Bar and Bat Mitzvah program?
- LOVE AND BARLEY: A LESSON OF THE “OMER” RITUAL, by Rabbi Gershon Winkler
- The Matzah of Caring
- RAISING THE BAR AND BROADENING THE MEANING OF BAR AND BAT MITZVAH
- EXISTENCE, AND WHAT YOU CAN’T DO ABOUT IT - A TEACHING BY RABBI GERSHON WINKLER
- Transformational Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Posts
Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’
Free InfoCalls for Newly Inquiring Families
August 19th, 2010
Wednesday September 1st, at 7:30pm
Monday September 6th at 7:30pm
Monday September 13, at 7:30pm
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, homeschooling, Jewish education, Parenting
Posted in Announcements
What Is The Legacy Passage Bar and Bat Mitzvah Program?
January 3rd, 2010
An innovative educational tool designed to address the rite-of-passage needs of the minimally-observant American Jewish family. An heirloom-quality family workbook and a deck of cards, the program radically re-contextualizes the Bar and Bat Mitzvah (BM) process (preparation and ceremony). The program’s approach transforms the BM from a celebration of the child’s Jewish self to a Jewish celebration of the child’s whole self - abilities, family, people-hood, and soul.
Book Cover Design
The Legacy Passage curricular tools provide the synagogue’s educator/Rabbi with:
● A well organized family education framework. A year long BM preparation course that meaningfully and seamlessly integrates the many BM strands into a coherent and powerful process.
● An artfully designed book, which is structured to neatly store the entire gamut of BM related documentation. It is intended to remain a child’s precious keepsake alongside other cherished religious books and paraphernalia.
The process incorporates three major components:
● Family and facilitator (rabbi/cantor/tutor) together clarify a vision for the BM preparation year. A shared mission is established, i.e. to transmit the family’s legacy to the maturing child - personal as well as Jewish. We thus invite the parents to be full and equal partners with the synagogue representative in carrying out a deeply meaningful and shared mission. This component focuses on conceptual clarity-making and relationship tone-setting with the BM family.
● The family takes the lead role in selecting the components of the child’s BM preparation program within the parameters of the synagogue ritual standards and values. The process of Engaged Choice (see ASEM assignment cards) allows each family to design a rite-of-passage program that focuses on their child’s strengths and interests. It further establishes and deepens the parent/synagogue partnership. The BM preparation program is pedagogically centered around two classical BM themes:
a. Legacy Passage.
b. Maturity training and celebration.
● The synagogue representative inserts into the book’s designated loose-leaf pocket information with practical advice regarding the nuts and bolts of producing their ceremony and accompanying celebration. The family need not reinvent the production wheel. The synagogue representative will offer pragmatic guidance in order to free-up family members’ time and attention toward the BM educational and emotional substance.
Why Legacy Passage?
For the majority of minimally-observant American Jewish families during the past couple of generations the BM ceremony has been a primary motivator for participation and affiliation with the synagogue. Participation with a Jewish educational system and/or prayer community whether Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, or unaffiliated has provided families with a sense of belonging and pride. The participating BM child has enjoyed the rewards of personal recognition and accomplishment. However, for many families the engagement has primarily been child focused and lasted until the youngest completed his or her BM track. This dynamic has been further compounded by the fact that many a family and their young celebrant have gone through their Jewish educational phase experiencing a great deal of incongruity, dis-empowerment, and cognitive dissonance - belonging and pride notwithstanding. As a result most BM graduates have remained alienated from Jewish communal life until, at best, they themselves have become parents. And so a diminishing cycle continues.
We have developed the Legacy Passage BM program as a response to the incongruous experience that we believe is systemic to the contemporary American synagogue BM. Legacy Passage is designed to enable a different BM paradigm. We approach BM holistically. The program treats the BM preparation period and ceremony as a Jewish celebration of the child’s entire self - body, heart, mind, abilities, family, people-hood, and soul. Our goal is to deeply engage the full spectrum of the child’s and family’s life experience, not only the Jewish “sliver”. Our premise is that each individual in the family as well as the family system as a whole already possess the ingredients for a coherent, congruent, empowered, and Jewishly authentic rite-of-passage process.
Our approach follows from the analysis that a BM program that offers a compartmentalized experience, focusing primarily on the celebrant’s synagogue skill-set, perpetuates a disconnect between the child’s Jewish communal experience and the rest of his/her life. The latter will most likely win the contest of appeal. The Legacy Passage program operates under, and propagates, the assumption of identity wholeness rather than a contest between a “Jewish life” and a “rest of life”. Legacy Passage is designed to honor the student and family for who-they-are as-they-are helping them discover and mine their extant identity resources and strengths. Most importantly our program is designed to validate and enhance the family’s wishes for Jewish connection, learning, and practice. The family chooses, we, clergy and educators, follow and guide.
We have found that the family/child centered approach provides participants with a deep sense of relevance and lasting emotional satisfaction. It is our belief that as synagogues around the country adopt the Legacy Passage holistic approach, BM standards and practices will shift to better serve the minimally observant constituency, renewing an authentic reciprocity and loyalty between synagogues and a growing number of their members.
Bring Legacy Passage to your Hebrew School today!
Contact us for details
845 348 9810 or e-mail mylegacypassage@me.com
Published and distributed by Hebrew Learning Circles, Inc. (501c3)
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, Haftorah, initiation, Jewish education, Jewish legacy, Jewish tradition, life cycle, Parenting, religion, rite of passage, synagogue, tutor
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah
Transformational Bar and Bat Mitzvah
October 30th, 2009
Does a child really transform or even transition from childhood to adulthood when they become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah at the age of 13 or 12 as is held by Jewish tradition? Does life change for the contemporary Jewish child after his/her ceremony? How about the rest of the family? Does anything change for them after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony? Does the normative initiatory Jewish process today live up to its ancient promise, still echoing in our collective Jewish memory, of a transformational transition from minority to majority?
The traditional Native American youth who goes out solo into the woods on a long and challenging vision quest returns with a vision, a name, and a readiness to take his/her place among his/her community’s productive adults. The youth’s life has been transformed.
The young Biblical King David (Book of Samuel’s I, chapters 16, 17) single handedly kills a lion and a bear while out alone tending to his father’s flock of sheep. This event prepares him for the ultimate initiatory experience of his youth, defeating the giant Goliath. Thus King David is transformed into his role among the adult warriors of his people.
The contemporary American teenager mentoring with a qualified instructor toward earning his/her driver’s license is being prepared for high stakes activity along with the adults of his/her tribe. Once initiated, the teen will be entrusted with handling the potentially lethal moving vehicle, and will bear real consequences in the event of harmful misuse. S/he now has the power to kill or protect herself or others. The teen’s life is being transformed.
Is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child’s life transformed after having successfully mastered his/her Haftorah? The experience of many suggests that not quite. But it should be. Bar/Bat Mitzvah by definition is a transformational term. Mitzvah in Hebrew has two different meanings. From the word Tzavta, company or group, Mitzvah means community. From the word Tzivah, instructed, Mitzvah means that which has been instructed or ruled. Bar, literally son, or Bat, literally daughter means in our context ‘member of’. Just as a child is a member of his/her family, so too son or daughter of Mitzvah plainly means ‘member of Mitzvah’. Thus the term Bar/Bat Mitzvah means member of a community sharing a common set of rules. Becoming a member of a morally demanding collective requires a character buildup, a transformation of one’s earlier nature.
But is stepping up to a status of greater moral demand in and of itself sufficient for maximizing the maturation benefits inherent in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah transition? Another interpretation of Mitzvah, as derived from Tzavta, company, suggests that perhaps a deeper cultivation is yet in order. Our sages tell us that Tzavta, company, could, in the context of Mitzvah, refer to being in company with God. That the rules, Mitzvot (Mitzvahs), are sacred and thus serve spiritually as the vehicles for, or the expressions of, our shared sacred values. In other words, our tribe’s Mitzvah system is structured around each our deepest capacity for existential and spiritual connectedness. When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah program addresses that capacity the Mitzvah potential is maximized and the transformation is palpable.
When we examine youth initiatory events across cultures and throughout history, whether among traditional native peoples, through the stories and characters of the the great mythologies (i.e. Bible), or in contemporary life, we find that the presence of seven programatic elements contribute to the successful and meaningful transformation of child to adult.
These elements bring about transformation in part because they interact with the initiate’s innate capacity to be “in company, Tzavta, with his/her God”. These initiatory programs help the young person confront life’s scared as well as practical edges at which moral and existential maturation is inevitable. We, the initiating adults must find the wisdom and courage to allow our maturing young-one to sufficiently extend themselves out and beyond the comfort of early parental protection and into the realm of a deliberate and growth-full challenge course.
The seven elements of the transformational maturation program are:
1. Child being mentored by parents in the sacred values of the family and by qualified instructors in the sacred values of the tribe. By ‘sacred values’ we mean those values for which keeping one would voluntarily forefeit comfort, treasure, or life should it be necessary.
2. Child being coached in clarifying his/her personal life mission as well as the collective mission of his/her tribe.
3. Child being trained in the ceremonial skills, both collective and individual, practiced by the family and tribe.
4. Child is taught how to master new practical adult life skills.
5. Child passes endurance challenges that help him draw on newly found reservoirs of energy and willpower.
6. Child declares his/her new set of mature commitments relating to self, family, tribe, humanity, and all living things.
7. Child receives affirmation and acknowledgment from the family and community through ceremony, speeches, gifts of ritual garb and paraphernalia, and gifts of the heart.
At a different time and in another place a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony and the preparation period leading up to it would have included all of these ingredients providing for a powerful and organic life transition. At the other end of the process the boy or girl would start afresh with a sense of meaning and place, an experience that eludes many of us post moderns. Many parents report about their own Bar/Bat Mitzvah initiatory process as having offered irrelevant challenges at best and little challenge in areas of concern, interest, and potential personal growth if any. The lives of an entire generation has not been transformed by our experiences with our synagogues of youth.
The original Bar/Bat Mitzvah event has had many of its transformational ingredients fall by the wayside over the course of modern history leaving us with a set of noble yet dry traditional motions to go through. Albeit many a family, while bravely stepping up to the contemporary Bar/Bat Mitzvah plate, somewhere inside continue to grasp for the original and whole-life affirming initiatory experience that they intuit should be available and accessible.
Our children deserve more than a period of exposure to an often irrelevant (to them) Jewish culture followed by our magnanimous permission to them to choose whether or not to identify once the Hebrew School “burden” is over with. They deserve more than an opportunity to march up to the Bima, snagogue podium, perhaps for the last time, to offer a substantively obscure yet polished performance to a delighted audience of relatives and friends who are all the while taking great effort to mask their ritual discomfort.
This Rabbi believes that our children deserve the full transformational initiatory experience through which they enjoy meaningful self-discovery, profound bonding with parents and adult mentors, and a gained sense of their rightful place in the Jewish as well as human chain of generational transmission.
No, a transformational Bar/Bat Mitzvah event does not exist per-se but increasing attempts are being made. And no, our synagogue traditions are not to be discarded as they hold the precious wisdom of ritual heirlooms that have withstood the test of time. The renewal of Bar/Bat Mitzvah though, is not the task of the guardians of tradition. From them we gratefully learn. It is the job of post modern families who are willing to engage their maturing children with self-honesty, who are commited to reclaiming the power of Jewish generational transmission for our times, and have the courage to take charge.
Our children are entitled to meaningful instruction in the sacred values of their parents along with the ceremonial skills practiced by their families and communities. They are entitled to help in clarifying their sense of a life mission and that of their people. They are entitled to be initiated into, and trusted with, new adult life skills and responsibilities. They are entitled to being appropriately challenged and trusted on all levels of human being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They are entitled to the challenge of making new significant commitments relating to themselves and the world around them. The ceremony day then becomes the icing on the Babka (traditional Eastern Europian Jewish chocolate flavored cake). While for many of us our Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience has left a scant impression if any, at the end of his or her day, our child deserves nothing less than having been transformed forever.
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, Haftorah, initiation, Jewish education, Jewish legacy, Jewish tradition, Parenting, prayer services, religion, rite of passage, Spirituality, synagogue, transformation, vision quest
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah
Transformational Bar and Bat Mitzvah
May 31st, 2009
Does a child really transform or even transition from childhood to adulthood when they become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah at the age of 13 or 12 as is held by Jewish tradition? Does life change for the contemporary Jewish child after his/her ceremony? How about the rest of the family? Does anything change for them after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony? Does the normative initiatory Jewish process today live up to its ancient promise, still echoing in our collective Jewish memory, of a transformational transition from minority to majority?
The traditional Native American youth who goes out solo into the woods on a long and challenging vision quest returns with a vision, a name, and a readiness to take his/her place among his/her community’s productive adults. The youth’s life has been transformed.
The young Biblical King David (Book of Samuel’s I, chapters 16, 17) single handedly kills a lion and a bear while out alone tending to his father’s flock of sheep. This event prepares him for the ultimate initiatory experience of his youth, defeating the giant Goliath. Thus King David is transformed into his role among the adult warriors of his people.
The contemporary American teenager mentoring with a qualified instructor toward earning his/her driver’s license is being prepared for high stakes activity along with the adults of his/her tribe. Once initiated, the teen will be entrusted with handling the potentially lethal moving vehicle, and will bear real consequences in the event of harmful misuse. S/he now has the power to kill or protect herself or others. The teen’s life is being transformed.
Is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child’s life transformed after having successfully mastered his/her Haftorah? The experience of many suggests that not quite. But it should be. Bar/Bat Mitzvah by definition is a transformational term. Mitzvah in Hebrew has two different meanings. From the word Tzavta, company or group, Mitzvah means community. From the word Tzivah, instructed, Mitzvah means that which has been instructed or ruled. Bar, literally son, or Bat, literally daughter means in our context ‘member of’. Just as a child is a member of his/her family, so too son or daughter of Mitzvah plainly means ‘member of Mitzvah’. Thus the term Bar/Bat Mitzvah means member of a community sharing a common set of rules. Becoming a member of a morally demanding collective requires a character buildup, a transformation of one’s earlier nature.
But is stepping up to a status of greater moral demand in and of itself sufficient for maximizing the maturation benefits inherent in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah transition? Another interpretation of Mitzvah, as derived from Tzavta, company, suggests that perhaps a deeper cultivation is yet in order. Our sages tell us that Tzavta, company, could, in the context of Mitzvah, refer to being in company with God. That the rules, Mitzvot (Mitzvahs), are sacred and thus serve spiritually as the vehicles for, or the expressions of, our shared sacred values. In other words, our tribe’s Mitzvah system is structured around each our deepest capacity for existential and spiritual connectedness. When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah program addresses that capacity the Mitzvah potential is maximized and the transformation is palpable.
When we examine youth initiatory events across cultures and throughout history, whether among traditional native peoples, through the stories and characters of the the great mythologies (i.e. Bible), or in contemporary life, we find that the presence of seven programatic elements contribute to the successful and meaningful transformation of child to adult.
These elements bring about transformation in part because they interact with the initiate’s innate capacity to be “in company, Tzavta, with his/her God”. These initiatory programs help the young person confront life’s scared as well as practical edges at which moral and existential maturation is inevitable. We, the initiating adults must find the wisdom and courage to allow our maturing young-one to sufficiently extend themselves out and beyond the comfort of early parental protection and into the realm of a deliberate and growth-full challenge course.
The seven elements of the transformational maturation program are:
1. Child being mentored by parents in the sacred values of the family and by qualified instructors in the sacred values of the tribe. By ‘sacred values’ we mean those values for which keeping one would voluntarily forefeit comfort, treasure, or life should it be necessary.
2. Child being coached in clarifying his/her personal life mission as well as the collective mission of his/her tribe.
3. Child being trained in the ceremonial skills, both collective and individual, practiced by the family and tribe.
4. Child is taught how to master new practical adult life skills.
5. Child passes endurance challenges that help him draw on newly found reservoirs of energy and willpower.
6. Child declares his/her new set of mature commitments relating to self, family, tribe, humanity, and all living things.
7. Child receives affirmation and acknowledgment from the family and community through ceremony, speeches, gifts of ritual garb and paraphernalia, and gifts of the heart.
At a different time and in another place a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony and the preparation period leading up to it would have included all of these ingredients providing for a powerful and organic life transition. At the other end of the process the boy or girl would start afresh with a sense of meaning and place, an experience that eludes many of us post moderns. Many parents report about their own Bar/Bat Mitzvah initiatory process as having offered irrelevant challenges at best and little challenge in areas of concern, interest, and potential personal growth if any. The lives of an entire generation has not been transformed by our experiences with our synagogues of youth.
The original Bar/Bat Mitzvah event has had many of its transformational ingredients fall by the wayside over the course of modern history leaving us with a set of noble yet dry traditional motions to go through. Albeit many a family, while bravely stepping up to the contemporary Bar/Bat Mitzvah plate, somewhere inside continue to grasp for the original and whole-life affirming initiatory experience that they intuit should be available and accessible.
Our children deserve more than a period of exposure to an often irrelevant (to them) Jewish culture followed by our magnanimous permission to them to choose whether or not to identify once the Hebrew School “burden” is over with. They deserve more than an opportunity to march up to the Bima, snagogue podium, perhaps for the last time, to offer a substantively obscure yet polished performance to a delighted audience of relatives and friends who are all the while taking great effort to mask their ritual discomfort.
This Rabbi believes that our children deserve the full transformational initiatory experience through which they enjoy meaningful self-discovery, profound bonding with parents and adult mentors, and a gained sense of their rightful place in the Jewish as well as human chain of generational transmission.
No, a transformational Bar/Bat Mitzvah event does not exist per-se but increasing attempts are being made. And no, our synagogue traditions are not to be discarded as they hold the precious wisdom of ritual heirlooms that have withstood the test of time. The renewal of Bar/Bat Mitzvah though, is not the task of the guardians of tradition. From them we gratefully learn. It is the job of post modern families who are willing to engage their maturing children with self-honesty, who are commited to reclaiming the power of Jewish generational transmission for our times, and have the courage to take charge.
Our children are entitled to meaningful instruction in the sacred values of their parents along with the ceremonial skills practiced by their families and communities. They are entitled to help in clarifying their sense of a life mission and that of their people. They are entitled to be initiated into, and trusted with, new adult life skills and responsibilities. They are entitled to being appropriately challenged and trusted on all levels of human being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They are entitled to the challenge of making new significant commitments relating to themselves and the world around them. The ceremony day then becomes the icing on the Babka (traditional Eastern Europian Jewish chocolate flavored cake). While for many of us our Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience has left a scant impression if any, at the end of his or her day, our child deserves nothing less than having been transformed forever.
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Haftorah, initiation, Jewish education, Jewish legacy, Jewish tradition, life cycle, Parenting, religion, rite of passage, Spirituality, synagogue, transformation
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah
What is the Legacy Passage Bar and Bat Mitzvah program?
May 24th, 2009
Legacy Passage is an innovative Jewish educational tool designed to authentically address the rite-of-passage needs of the minimally observant American Jewish family. A heirloom-quality family workbook and a deck of cards, the program radically re-contextualizes the Bar and Bat Mitzvah (BM) process (preparation and ceremony). The program’s approach transforms the BM from a celebration of the child’s Jewish self to a Jewish celebration of the child’s whole self - abilities, family, people-hood, and soul.
The Legacy Passage curricular tools provide the synagogue educator/Rabbi a well organized framework for a year long BM preparation course that meaningfully and seamlessly integrates the many BM strands into a coherent and powerful process. The artfully designed book, which is structured to neatly store the entire gamut of BM related documentation, is intended to remain a child’s precious keepsake alongside other cherished religious books and paraphernalia.
Three major components:
1. Family and facilitator (rabbi/cantor/tutor) together clarify a vision for the BM preparation year. A shared mission is established, i.e. to transmit the family’s legacy to the maturing child - personal as well as Jewish. We thus invite the parents to be full and equal partners with the synagogue representative in carrying out a deeply meaningful and shared mission. This component focuses on conceptual clarity-making and relationship tone-setting with the BM family.
2. The family takes the lead role in selecting the components of the child’s BM preparation program within the parameters of the synagogue ritual standards and values. The process of Engaged Choice (see ASEM assignment cards) allows each family to design a rite-of-passage program that focuses on their child’s strengths and interests. It further establishes and deepens the parent/synagogue partnership. The BM preparation program is pedagogically centered around two classical BM themes:
a. Legacy Passage.
b. Maturity training and celebration.
3. The synagogue representative inserts into the book’s designated loose-leaf pocket information with practical advice regarding the nuts and bolts of producing their ceremony and accompanying celebration. The family need not reinvent the production wheel. The synagogue representative will offer pragmatic guidance in order to free-up family members’ time and attention toward the BM educational and emotional substance.
Why Legacy Passage?
For the majority of minimally-observant American Jewish families during the past couple of generations the BM ceremony has been a primary motivator for participation and affiliation with the synagogue. Participation with a Jewish educational system and/or prayer community whether Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, or unaffiliated has provided families with a sense of belonging and pride. The participating BM child has enjoyed the rewards of personal recognition and accomplishment. However, for many families the engagement has primarily been child focused and lasted until the youngest completed his or her BM track. This dynamic has been further compounded by the fact that many a family and their young celebrant have gone through their Jewish educational phase experiencing a great deal of incongruity, dis-empowerment, and cognitive dissonance - belonging and pride notwithstanding. As a result most BM graduates have remained alienated from Jewish communal life until, at best, they themselves have become parents. And so a diminishing cycle continues.
We have developed the Legacy Passage BM program as a response to the incongruous experience that we believe is systemic to the contemporary American synagogue BM. Legacy Passage is designed to enable a different BM paradigm. We approach BM holistically. The program treats the BM preparation period and ceremony as a Jewish celebration of the child’s entire self - body, heart, mind, abilities, family, people-hood, and soul. Our goal is to deeply engage the full spectrum of the child’s and family’s life experience, not only the Jewish “sliver”. Our premise is that each individual in the family as well as the family system as a whole already possess the ingredients for a coherent, congruent, empowered, and Jewishly authentic rite-of-passage process.
Our approach follows from the analysis that a BM program that offers a compartmentalized experience, focusing primarily on the celebrant’s synagogue skill-set, perpetuates a disconnect between the child’s Jewish communal experience and the rest of his/her life. The latter will most likely win the contest of appeal. The Legacy Passage program operates under, and propagates the assumption of identity wholeness rather than a contest between a “Jewish life” and a “rest of life”. Legacy Passage is designed to honor the student and family for who-they-are as-they-are helping them discover and mine their extant identity resources and strengths. Most importantly our program is designed to validate and enhance the family’s wishes for Jewish connection, learning, and practice. The family chooses, we, clergy and educators, follow and guide.
We have found that the family/child centered approach provides participants with a deep sense of relevance and lasting emotional satisfaction. It is our belief that as synagogues around the country adopt the Legacy Passage holistic approach, BM standards and practices will shift to better serve the minimally observant constituency, renewing an authentic reciprocity and loyalty between synagogues and a growing number of their members.
History
The program evolved from our experience with tutoring and ceremony leading with approximately seventy students over the course of the past near decade. While serving members of Congregation B’nai Torah of Orange County NY (Conservative style) and Hebrew Learning Circles (www.hebrewlearningcircles.com) home-study-program participants since 1998, we have been searching for ways to address the ethno-spiritual needs of the minimally observant Jewish family. The all-in-one workbook and card deck concept emerged organically in 2006 as we began organizing our, and others’, best practices into a coherent pedagogical unit. The ASEM assignment-cards system has been met with great enthusiasm by our students ever since we introduced them in 2007. The assignments have been providing us invaluable opportunities for heuristic Jewish education. Our participating families have continually been our best teachers.
Since the start of 2009 we have been working diligently to prepare the program for publication and widespread use. Presentations about the Legacy Passage unit at the Ohalah Rabbinical conference in January 2009 have been received with enthusiastic interest. The wealth of useful feedback has helped us further fine-tune the Legacy Passage Family Workbook and the Legacy Passage Facilitator’s Edition in preparation for publication. Recent presentations of the curriculum to a select group of Rabbis and Jewish educators have stirred-up honest reflections, great discussions, and subsequent enthusiastic interest in the program.
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Jewish education, Jewish legacy, life cycle, Parenting, religion, rite of passage, Spirituality, transformation
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah
RAISING THE BAR AND BROADENING THE MEANING OF BAR AND BAT MITZVAH
March 31st, 2009
How do we transform the Bar/Bat Mitzvah rite of passage from “a celebration of the child’s Jewish self” to “a Jewish celebration of the child’s whole self”? We designed the innovative Legacy Passage program to do exactly that through engaged-choice. Parents and child are invited into the process as full partners as they choose from a wide range of meaningful engagement options.
The entire Bar and Bat Mitzvah process from beginning to end streams through three stages: training, ceremony, and celebration. Could each one of those stages become in and of itself a life changing experience that effects the child’s healthy emotional development as well as strengthen family bonds?
Our answer is a resounding yes. We view the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience as a powerful and necessary rite of passage that contributes to the family and child’s overall well being. We begin by asking parents and child to consider the very essence of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process, which is the passing of legacy from elders to youngster. Just as we, adults, have been shaped by the legacy of our parents – their values, beliefs, stories, unique skills, and important projects – so too our children will be shaped by ours. The life experience of many suggests that one’s Jewish legacy is part of a greater personal and universal whole. What would it look like then, if we passed down our entire legacy package to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah child, not only the Jewish traditional content? This question is our starting point.
The Legacy Passage program is designed to facilitate conscious, deliberate, and heartfelt transmission of a family’s treasured legacy to its young. Since each family’s legacy is unique, each Bar and Bat Mitzvah process, from its inception to the party, is custom designed in close collaboration with the entire family. We help the child’s elders engage with him or her as significant mentors. A set of intelligently challenging and fun assignments help the Jewish child try out and achieve new levels of maturity and connectedness under the guidance of his or her mentors. The ceremony and party thus celebrate the child’s special abilities, the family’s self defined values, the gift of Jewish people-hood, and the soul residing within.
This rite of passage, channeling a loving transmission down the generations, then becomes the soil in which the child’s future holds root. Our Rabbi and expert tutors are more than Jewish-educators. They are coaches who consider Jewish tradition as it uniquely applies in the context of each child’s whole life. Isn’t that exactly what the Bar and Bat Mitzvah rite was originally intended to be?
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, initiation, Jewish education, Jewish legacy, Jewish tradition, life cycle, Parenting, religion, rite of passage, synagogue, transformation
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah
Transformational Bar/Bat Mitzvah
March 19th, 2009
Does a child really transform or even transition from childhood to adulthood when they become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah at the age of 13 or 12 as is held by Jewish tradition? Does life change for the contemporary Jewish child after his/her ceremony? How about the rest of the family? Does anything change for them after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony? Does the normative initiatory Jewish process today live up to its ancient promise, still echoing in our collective Jewish memory, of a transformational transition from minority to majority?
The traditional Native American youth who goes out solo into the woods on a long and challenging vision quest returns with a vision, a name, and a readiness to take his/her place among his/her community’s productive adults. The youth’s life has been transformed.
The young Biblical King David (Book of Samuel’s I, chapters 16, 17) single handedly kills a lion and a bear while out alone tending to his father’s flock of sheep. This event prepares him for the ultimate initiatory experience of his youth, defeating the giant Goliath. Thus King David is transformed into his role among the adult warriors of his people.
The contemporary American teenager mentoring with a qualified instructor toward earning his/her driver’s license is being prepared for high stakes activity along with the adults of his/her tribe. Once initiated, the teen will be entrusted with handling the potentially lethal moving vehicle, and will bear real consequences in the event of harmful misuse. S/he now has the power to kill or protect herself or others. The teen’s life is being transformed.
Is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child’s life transformed after having successfully mastered his/her Haftorah? The experience of many suggests that not quite. But it should be. Bar/Bat Mitzvah by definition is a transformational term. Mitzvah in Hebrew has two different meanings. From the word Tzavta, company or group, Mitzvah means community. From the word Tzivah, instructed, Mitzvah means that which has been instructed or ruled. Bar, literally son, or Bat, literally daughter means in our context ‘member of’. Just as a child is a member of his/her family, so too son or daughter of Mitzvah plainly means ‘member of Mitzvah’. Thus the term Bar/Bat Mitzvah means member of a community sharing a common set of rules. Becoming a member of a morally demanding collective requires a character buildup, a transformation of one’s earlier nature.
But is stepping up to a status of greater moral demand in and of itself sufficient for maximizing the maturation benefits inherent in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah transition? Another interpretation of Mitzvah, as derived from Tzavta, company, suggests that perhaps a deeper cultivation is yet in order. Our sages tell us that Tzavta, company, could, in the context of Mitzvah, refer to being in company with God. That the rules, Mitzvot (Mitzvahs), are sacred and thus serve spiritually as the vehicles for, or the expressions of, our shared sacred values. In other words, our tribe’s Mitzvah system is structured around each our deepest capacity for existential and spiritual connectedness. When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah program addresses that capacity the Mitzvah potential is maximized and the transformation is palpable.
When we examine youth initiatory events across cultures and throughout history, whether among traditional native peoples, through the stories and characters of the the great mythologies (i.e. Bible), or in contemporary life, we find that the presence of seven programatic elements contribute to the successful and meaningful transformation of child to adult.
These elements bring about transformation in part because they interact with the initiate’s innate capacity to be “in company, Tzavta, with his/her God”. These initiatory programs help the young person confront life’s scared as well as practical edges at which moral and existential maturation is inevitable. We, the initiating adults must find the wisdom and courage to allow our maturing young-one to sufficiently extend themselves out and beyond the comfort of early parental protection and into the realm of a deliberate and growth-full challenge course.
The seven elements of the transformational maturation program are:
1. Child being mentored by parents in the sacred values of the family and by qualified instructors in the sacred values of the tribe. By ‘sacred values’ we mean those values for which keeping one would voluntarily forefeit comfort, treasure, or life should it be necessary.
2. Child being coached in clarifying his/her personal life mission as well as the collective mission of his/her tribe.
3. Child being trained in the ceremonial skills, both collective and individual, practiced by the family and tribe.
4. Child is taught how to master new practical adult life skills.
5. Child passes endurance challenges that help him draw on newly found reservoirs of energy and willpower.
6. Child declares his/her new set of mature commitments relating to self, family, tribe, humanity, and all living things.
7. Child receives affirmation and acknowledgment from the family and community through ceremony, speeches, gifts of ritual garb and paraphernalia, and gifts of the heart.
At a different time and in another place a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony and the preparation period leading up to it would have included all of these ingredients providing for a powerful and organic life transition. At the other end of the process the boy or girl would start afresh with a sense of meaning and place, an experience that eludes many of us post moderns. Many parents report about their own Bar/Bat Mitzvah initiatory process as having offered irrelevant challenges at best and little challenge in areas of concern, interest, and potential personal growth if any. The lives of an entire generation has not been transformed by our experiences with our synagogues of youth.
The original Bar/Bat Mitzvah event has had many of its transformational ingredients fall by the wayside over the course of modern history leaving us with a set of noble yet dry traditional motions to go through. Albeit many a family, while bravely stepping up to the contemporary Bar/Bat Mitzvah plate, somewhere inside continue to grasp for the original and whole-life affirming initiatory experience that they intuit should be available and accessible.
Our children deserve more than a period of exposure to an often irrelevant (to them) Jewish culture followed by our magnanimous permission to them to choose whether or not to identify once the Hebrew School “burden” is over with. They deserve more than an opportunity to march up to the Bima, snagogue podium, perhaps for the last time, to offer a substantively obscure yet polished performance to a delighted audience of relatives and friends who are all the while taking great effort to mask their ritual discomfort.
This Rabbi believes that our children deserve the full transformational initiatory experience through which they enjoy meaningful self-discovery, profound bonding with parents and adult mentors, and a gained sense of their rightful place in the Jewish as well as human chain of generational transmission.
No, a transformational Bar/Bat Mitzvah event does not exist per-se but increasing attempts are being made. And no, our synagogue traditions are not to be discarded as they hold the precious wisdom of ritual heirlooms that have withstood the test of time. The renewal of Bar/Bat Mitzvah though, is not the task of the guardians of tradition. From them we gratefully learn. It is the job of post modern families who are willing to engage their maturing children with self-honesty, who are commited to reclaiming the power of Jewish generational transmission for our times, and have the courage to take charge.
Our children are entitled to meaningful instruction in the sacred values of their parents along with the ceremonial skills practiced by their families and communities. They are entitled to help in clarifying their sense of a life mission and that of their people. They are entitled to be initiated into, and trusted with, new adult life skills and responsibilities. They are entitled to being appropriately challenged and trusted on all levels of human being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They are entitled to the challenge of making new significant commitments relating to themselves and the world around them. The ceremony day then becomes the icing on the Babka (traditional Eastern Europian Jewish chocolate flavored cake). While for many of us our Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience has left a scant impression if any, at the end of his or her day, our child deserves nothing less than having been transformed forever.
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, Haftorah, initiation, Jewish education, Jewish tradition, life cycle, Parenting, religion, rite of passage, Spirituality, synagogue, transformation, vision quest
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah
Rabbi Modek’s Classes - at the Community Night of Jewish Learning - Saturday, March 7th, 2009
February 23rd, 2009
At the Rockland Jewish Community Campus, 450 West Nyack Road, West Nyack, NY
Quick preview of Rabbi Modek’s sessions:
Class session I RAISING THE BAR ON BAR/BAT MITZVAH
Our ancestors passed on their Jewish legacy through rites of passage that were life transforming and life affirming. Can we reclaim the existential depth of Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Through surveying Jewish sources and current innovative practices we will search for the answer.
Class session II HASSIDIC STORY TELLING
Through storytelling and discussion students will encounter the pearls of wisdom offered in tales of the Baal Shem Tov and other Hassidic masters.
To register go towww.jewishrockland.orgto register on line
Questions? Email: melton@jewishrockland.orgTHE PROGRAM IS OPEN TO ALL–$18 SUGGESTED DONATION
BABYSITTING PROVIDED
ALL CLASSES AND TEACHERS:
Class session I – 7:40-8:30 pm
1. SCARLET RIBBONS: RAHAV: SACRED PROSTITUTE? WOMAN OF VALOR?
Madonna may not know it, but the red string she loves to flaunt has everything to do with a feisty woman named Rahav who lived long ago in Jericho. In this lively workshop, we will gain a clearer portrait of this unique “non-Jewish Jewish” heroine.
JUDITH ROSE
Educational Consultant, Director of Vital Movement™, Adult Education at CSI-Nyack
2. ETHICAL WILLS: A SACRED JEWISH PRACTICE
We will learn that although human life can be described in generalities, each life is unique in its blessings and difficulties. Although it is true that we take nothing from the world when we leave it, it is the greatest human wish that along the way we leave something of value, some sign that the world is better because we lived here. We will discover how Ethical Wills give voice to these human dreams and wishes.
RABBI PAULA MACK DRILL
Orangetown Jewish Center; Melton Faculty
3. PARAHSAT HASHAVUA AS A CONSTRUCT IN TIME
How do you read the Torah? Learn how to study the Torah one day at a time. See how the weekly parasha can be lived out daily and applied to the weekly rhythm of our lives.
RABBI CRAIG SCHEFF
Orangetown Jewish Center
4. “PRAYER CAN BE…..”
Have you ever wondered if the act of t’fillah (prayer) could be more meaningful to you? Have you ever explored t’fillah in unique ways….ways that are not found in conventional textbooks or siddurim? In this session, we will use interactive and creative techniques to explore the prayer experience, and understand it in a more personal, nuanced and meaningful manner.
BETH KRAMER
Educational Director, Temple Beth El
5. A TASTE OF MELTON:
THE RIGHT TO LIFE OR THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE: A JEWISH PERSPECTIVE
In the past few years and undoubtedly in the coming years the national debate over the court case Roe v. Wade is center stage in our political and religious forums. In this session we will take a look at the Jewish perspective based on many different sources and viewpoints that cross the spectrum of Jewish denominations, using the Florence Melton Adult Mini-School way of teaching.
RABBI JOSHUA GRUENBERG
Congregation Sons of Israel-Nyack; Melton Faculty
6. SHOULD WE ACTIVELY SEEK CONVERTS TO JUDAISM?
We will discuss some of these questions: Is this the time for us to stop obsessing about who is being lost to the Jewish community and instead to start acting on who might come in? Does Judaism have something to offer to spiritual seekers? Where do we begin?
RABBI ARYEH MEIR
West Clarkstown Jewish Center; Melton Faculty
7. RAISING THE BAR ON BAR/BAT MITZVAH
Our ancestors passed on their Jewish legacy through rites of passage that were life transforming and life affirming. Can we reclaim the existential depth of Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Through surveying Jewish sources and current innovative practices we will search for the answer.
RABBI REUBEN MODEK
Hebrew Learning Circles
8. JERUSALEM IS THE NAVAL OF THE WORLD! SONGS, MIDRASH AND MYSTICAL TALES OF THE HOLY CITY WE LOVE
Come learn sources and stories about Jerusalem, our holy city. Songs about the holy city inspire us, and midrash about Jerusalem is simply majestic! Everyone who loves the holy land and our precious City of Gold is invited to come learn together.
RABBI SCOTT BOLTON
Head of School, Reuben Gittelman Hebrew Day School
9. FINDING GOD WHILE PRAYING
Discover the different intentions of our prayers and where and how we can find God and godliness.
RABBI PAUL KURLAND
Nanuet Hebrew Center
10. ISRAEL: 60 YEARS IN 50 MINUTES
A whirlwind tour as participants share memories and eye witness accounts during this decade by decade survey of the history of the Jewish state.
CAROL H. KING, LCSW
Jewish Family Service of Rockland
11. PURIM EXPOSED—THE REAL STORY
Where are the miracles in the Purim story? Why is G-d’s name not mentioned in Megilat Esther (the only book of Torah missing G-d’s name)?
RABBI CHAIM ZVI EHRENREICH
Chabad Jewish Enrichment Center—Chestnut Ridge
12. J, E, P, D- WHY REFORM AND CONSERVATIVE JEWS ARE NOT ORTHODOX
A look at the scholarly reasons why non-Orthodox Jews do not literally accept “Torah Mi-Sinai,” the concept of the entire Torah being given at Mt. Sinai. Time permitting, we will also deal with the consequences of such a belief vis a vis Torah and mitzvot.
RABBI DANIEL PERNICK
Beth Am Temple
13. THE MIDRASHIC IMAGINATION: HOW WE LEARN TORAH FROM PEOPLE WHO RAISED SHEEP AND GOATS
An attempt to come to an understanding of how the Midrashic process helps us keep learning from the Torah although it was created so many thousand’s of years ago in a totally different culture and milieu from ours.
RABBI DAVID FASS
Temple Beth Sholom
14. ENRICHING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN’S JEWISH EXPERIENCES
Grandparents have a unique opportunity to demonstrate what it means to live a Jewish life (accompanied by a large dose of hugs and kisses!). This workshop will examine how grandparents look at themselves and their personal grandparenting style and offer suggestions for ways of (subtly) adding Jewish values to family events and celebrations (w/o being the ‘family rabbi’ or guest lecturer!).
SHARON HALPER
Regional Educator, Union for Reform Judaism, Grandmother
15. WAITER! THERE’S A SWEATSHOP IN MY SOUP!
Recent labor scandals in the kosher meat industry have forced us to re-examine our approach to one of the most basic aspects of our lives—our food. Explore the question of the ethics of what we consume, as we discuss the issue in light of ancient and modern Torah teachings concerning labor justice.
RABBI MICHAEL ROTHBAUM
Campus Rabbi/Program Director, Hillels of Westchester
16. FEMALE, ARAB, CHRISTIAN: NARRATIVE VOICE IN SAMI MICHAEL’S
“A TRUMPET IN THE WADI”
In this class we will examine how Baghdad-born Hebrew novelist Sami Michael integrates the quintessential Other into the center of Israeli culture simply by “playing” a trumpet in a Haifa Wadi. Participants are expected to have read this short novel (in English) before coming to class.
JOE LOWIN, Ph.D.
17. DID THE EXODUS FROM EGYPT REALLY HAPPEN? (A TASTE OF MELTON)
In May 2001, Rabbi David Wolpe (Conservative Rabbi) said in a sermon that archeological evidence shows that the Exodus from Egypt never happened. His statement generated an uproar in the Jewish community. As Jews, must we believe that the Exodus really happened?
BARBARA ROSENTHAL BIRNBAUM
Melton Faculty, CSI Nyack Adult Ed
18. OUTREACH IN THE OUTBACK
Stories and lessons from three years traveling around Australia connecting and reconnecting isolated Jewish people with their heritage…Christians in Cairns, Davening in Darwin, Bar Mitzvah in Blairgowrie and Torah in Townsville…
RABBI DOV OLIVER
Center for Jewish Life, RCC Hillel; Instructor, Rockland Community College
Class Session II — 8:40-9:30 pm
1. EVERYTHING YOUR KIDS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX, DRUGS, BODY IMAGE AND TATTOOS*BUT WERE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOU
Want to know about the Jewish view on these controversial issues and how to talk about them with your teens? Join us for this exciting session.
BENJAMIN LEWIS
Educational Director, New City Jewish Center
2. SCARLET RIBBONS: RAHAV: SACRED PROSTITUTE? WOMAN OF VALOR?
Madonna may not know it, but the red string she loves to flaunt has everything to do with a feisty woman named Rahav who lived long ago in Jericho. In this lively workshop, we will gain a clearer portrait of this unique “non-Jewish Jewish” heroine.
JUDITH ROSE
Educational Consultant, Director of Vital Movement™, Adult Education at CSI-Nyack
3. I WILL BOW TO NO MAN: ISSUES OF AUTHORITY IN THE BOOK OF ESTHER
Join us for a lively session of text study lead by JT Waldman, the author and illustrator of JPS’s critically acclaimed graphic novel, Megillat Esther. This session will uncover how characters in the Esther story relate to systems of power and agents of authority. Open to students of all levels, previous experience with biblical text-study and familiarity with Hebrew is recommended.
JT WALDMAN
Jewish Publication Society
4. TASTES OF JAPAN
Traditional yet kosher appetizers & main dishes from The Land of the Rising Sun emphasizing aesthetics and preparation that maintains the nutritional value of all ingredients. Let’s create and taste an edible art we can enjoy on Shabbat and holidays! Registration is limited to the first 20 to sign up.
SIGALIT BEN ZEEV
Israeli Teacher of English as a Second Language in Japan among other talents.
5. MAKING PRAYER MEANINGFUL: A SPECIAL EXPERIENCE OF MA’ARIV, THE EVENING SERVICE
Through an exploration of the structure and intentions of the evening service, we will have an opportunity to consider what prayer does and could mean to us. There will be an opportunity for experiential learning and personal meaning making.
RABBI PAULA MACK DRILL
Orangetown Jewish Center; Melton Faculty
6. A TASTE OF MELTON: HOMOSEXUALITY AND JUDAISM
In this class we will explore sources both ancient and modern that deal with Judaism’s attitude toward homosexuality. Together we will try to navigate through these difficult sources so that we can all see through a Jewish lens when looking at this important relevant national and religious issue, using the Florence Melton Adult Mini-School way of teaching.
RABBI JOSHUA GRUENBERG
Congregation Sons of Israel-Nyack; Melton Faculty
7. IS THERE A FUTURE FOR JEWISH-MUSLIM RELATIONS?
Jews and Muslims have a complicated and somewhat tortured history. The Muslim presence in this country is growing rapidly and is felt in the public square. Where and how can Jews dialogue with Muslims?
RABBI ARYEH MEIR
Melton Faculty; Rabbi, West Clarkstown Jewish Center
8. HASSIDIC STORY TELLING
Through storytelling and discussion students will encounter the pearls of wisdom offered in tales of the Baal Shem Tov and other Hassidic masters.
RABBI REUBEN MODEK
Hebrew Learning Circles
9. HOLOCAUST: FAITH AND OUR FIGHTING SPIRIT THROUGHOUT THE DISASTER INSPIRES
In this session, we will explore how Jews continued to keep our traditions and have faith, in the ghettos and in the camps. Writings from Holocaust era writers inspire us to renew our commitment to our way of life. In the blessed memory of the holy ones who perished and with respect to the fighters and survivors, we will study together.
RABBI SCOTT BOLTON
Head of School, Reuben Gittelman Hebrew Day School
10. IMAGES OF RESISTANCE AND REVOLT
Depiction of the Holocaust is not limited to images of Nazi atrocities. Join Rabbi Berkman for a slide presentation surveying several artists who identified with the heroes of the ghetto, partisans and other symbols of spiritual and active resistance.
RABBI DAVID BERKMAN
Rabbi, New City Jewish Center
11. BODY LANGUAGE
Our relationship with eating and dieting can be a reflection of a deeper psychological, social and spiritual hunger. Let us examine together how our quest for wholeness, wellness and meaning can be honored and nourished.
CAROL H. KING
Jewish Family Service of Rockland
12. MUST THE HUSBAND BE TOLD? A CASE STUDY.
A Ba’alat Teshuvah had an abortion while still non-religious. Her ultra-orthodox husband has no idea. He will be performing the Pidyon HaBen ceremony for their new son. If he does so, there is a problem of his taking the Lord’s Name in vain, as the mitzvah does not apply to a second pregnancy. A Rabbi knows her past. Must he or the wife warn the husband, despite her embarrassment? This is a real case. A teshuva was written in response. We will discuss that teshuva.
RABBI DAVID HOJDA
Florence Melton Adult Mini-School
13. THE MORTGAGE & CREDIT MELTDOWN—A HALACHIC PERSPECTIVE
Who is accountable? Is it the lender, borrower, investor or broker?
RABBI CHAIM ZVI EHRENREICH
Chabad Jewish Enrichment Center—Chestnut Ridge
14. GREAT JEWISH MISCONCEPTIONS–THE SEQUEL
Join a continuation of last year’s SRO talk about beliefs that are commonly held about Judaism, but which happen to be completely false. No prerequisites!
RABBI DANIEL PERNICK
Beth Am Temple
15. THE MIDRASHIC IMAGINATION: HOW WE LEARN TORAH FROM PEOPLE WHO RAISED SHEEP AND GOATS
An attempt to arrive at an understanding of how the Midrashic process helps us keep learning from the Torah although it was created so many thousand’s of years ago in a totally different culture and milieu from ours.
RABBI DAVID FASS
Temple Beth Sholom
16. THE COMFORT, HEALING AND POWER OF PSALMS
At one time or another all of us face challenges in our lives, and particularly during these difficult times. The words of the psalmist echo the universal call to God from our individual fox holes.
Join Rabbi Mitrani Knapp for an exploration of the words from this sacred part of our Tanakh.
RABBI SUSAN MITRANI KNAPP
Assistant Rabbi, New City Jewish Center
17. ORGAN DONATION
In the spectrum of Jewish thought.
RABBI DOV OLIVER
Center for Jewish Life, RCC Hillel; Instructor, Rockland Community College
18. MOSES AS CROSS-ETHNIC ADOPTEE
We know his story well enough, but we forget that Moses was a Hebrew raised in the home of Egyptians. What does Moses’ experience tell us about the particular challenges of the cross-ethnic family? Join us to discuss the saga of the ultimate “hard-to-place” adoptee.
RABBI MICHAEL ROTHBAUM
Campus Rabbi/Program Director, Hillels of Westchester
19. THE CREATION STORY IN GENESIS: WHAT IS IT REALLY ABOUT? (MELTON)
The story of the creation of the world in Genesis has been variously translated and interpreted. What does the actual translation say? What does it mean? Can it be reconciled with scientific theory?
BARBARA ROSENTHAL BIRNBAUM
CSI Nyack Adult Ed; Melton Faculty
9:30-10:15 pm—Dessert and Musical Program
“Cantors Amy & Barry Kanarek & the Temple Dudes”
Cantors Amy (Greenburgh Hebrew Center) & Barry (Nanuet Hebrew Center) Kanarek & The Temple Dudes, featuring Ken Blumberg on guitar, Bruce Pollack on drums and Rose Pollack on flute, perform a wide assortment of folk and rock music from Israel, America and the world over. They frequently play at coffeehouses and festivals in the area and will appear in concert at the Nanuet Hebrew Center on March 22. Check them out at http://www.myspace.com/TheTempleDudes
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, Jewish education, Jewish tradition, Parenting, religion, Spirituality, Torah
Posted in Classes
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Child in Korah, A Story of Individuation
January 29th, 2009
Psychology defines an important developmental process in the growth of children called individuation. When we say that a child is individuating, we mean that he or she is beginning to assert his or her separate identity, especially in relation to his or her parents. As parents we like to term this time in our child’s life as the rebellious phase. The Rebellious phase, is often painfully experienced as an extreme assault on our authority, wisdom, esteem, and good faith. The terms that describe the subjective parental experience of a child’s individuation are hardly limited to the clinical languages of developmental psychology or parenting-guide-books. Your most honest, bold, and creative descriptions would be as good as any. My mother, for instance, had a bumper sticker that read: “Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids”. So many a Bar/Bat Mitzvah child seem to be eagerly ready to take their “rightful” turn at wholehearted individuation.
In the Biblical story of Korah (Numbers: 16), he and his accomplices rise in rebellion against Moses and Aaron. “All the people in the community are holy, and God is with them. Why are you setting yourselves above God’s congregation?” they challenge. Moses is so taken aback by the assault that he literally falls down on his face. Moses turns to God with a bitter complaint. How can they do this to me? “My integrity has been impeccable and I haven’t harmed any of them,” he tells God. Moses seems to be crying the oh-so-common parental cry of anguish: “What do those kids want from me? What have I done to deserve this?” Hearing Moses’ complaint God is filled with anger and is prepared to deliver immediate consequences. God says to Moses and Aaron: “separate yourselves from this community and I will destroy them in an instant”
Moses and Aaron, like the typical compassionate parent, negotiate with God for a lighter punishment. God abides and decides to punish only the rebel leaders. Korah and friends literally get under-grounded, thus the ground shifts and swallows them alive. However, the punishment doesn’t seem to educate and/or calm the Israelites. The next day the whole people gather to criticize and challenge Moses and Aaron – rebellion once again. This time the people defiantly blame Moses and Aaron for the previous day’s deaths. God’s reaction to this latest provocation is quick and decisive. God orders Moses and Aaron to “stand clear of the community” as God sends in a plague. However, Moses and Aaron again intervene on behalf of the people and get God to stop the plague.
At face value the Korah story seems to describe a contentious relationship between Israel and God that also has many parallels to the often-contentious relationship between parents and a rebellious child. God’s harsh response to the people’s rebellion verses Moses and Aaron’s compassionate response may also parallel the stereotypical family roles of tough father and compassionate Mother. But an broader reading of the Korah story will show that the Torah is not merely describing parental dynamics but may actually be teaching us a lesson in effective parenting.
Let us start with the question, are the people pathologically rebellious or may this be but a natural symptom of individuation? Perhaps they are behaving as appropriate for a young nation in the process of self-definition. If this is indeed so, their rebellion and defiance are healthy acts leading to maturation, which deserve a patient response. Why then is God so extremely wrathful? And conversely why are Moses and Aaron the ones so forgiving and protective?
It appears that the Torah is giving expression to two common emotional responses that typically emerge within us when we deal with our individuating children. How often do we explode in wrath in response to our children’s provocations? And how often indeed do we manage to see beyond the immediate irritation and respond to our developing child from a bigger picture perspective. In the Korah story the Torah is modeling both options, one represented in God’s response and the other in Moses and Aaron’s. But why then is God, who we would expect to be the ultimate role model, the less compassionate one? Isn’t it counter intuitive?
Let us read the end of the story. In response to Moses and Aaron’s intervention God had ended the plague. Immediately thereafter God tells Moses: “…take a staff (made from an almond tree) from each…tribe… let each man (tribal chief) write his name on his staff. The staff of the man that is my choice will then blossom.” Here God is asking Moses to set up a constructive conflict resolution project that honors all voices, a sudden and radical shift in approach. God turns away from anger and initiates a resolution based on compassionate arbitration. Thus, God models the possibility of seeing the unfolding individuation through the appearance of rebellion. While representing thoughtless reactivity at the beginning of the story, at the end God models the preferred choice. Listening to Moses and Aaron’s voices compassion, God responds to the individuating Israel with assertive yet loving consideration that allows the “rebellious child’s” maturity to truly blossom, just like the Almond bud.
Tags: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, Individuation, Korach, Parenting, Torah
Posted in Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah